


Swordsmithing For Beginners And Experts

by TheBlindBandit



Series: Down To Bismuth [4]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Banter, Comrades in Arms, Conversations, Daydreaming, F/F, Five Times Plus One, Flirting, Fluff and Angst, Gem War, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, Minor Character Death, Rebellion, Reunited and It Feels So Good, Solidarity, Spoilers for Episode: s05e18 A Single Pale Rose, Swords, Wartime Romance, talking it out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-08
Updated: 2019-01-08
Packaged: 2019-10-06 05:01:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17339060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBlindBandit/pseuds/TheBlindBandit
Summary: Crafting a good blade, both hard and flexible, takes time and care, and there are many pitfalls along the way for the uninitiated.A series of glimpses into that shared history that Pearl values so much, and a post-revelations look towards the future. Some sweet, some bitter, but most somewhere in between, and indeed featuring several swords. Or, in traditional terms: Five times Bismuth and Pearl kissed, and one time they didn’t.





	Swordsmithing For Beginners And Experts

**I. Smelt**

 

 

“So, this is it, huh?”

Bismuth grunted as she came to lean against a half-wrecked pillar, legs weak and watery - a very far cry from what she’d seen lapis lazulis wield to carve up and shape the faces of entire worlds. Dust stung her eyes and filled the dim hallway, but she tried to catch a glimpse of her companion anyway.

“Could have… could have thought of worse ways to go, really. We gave as good as we got - better, even.” She squinted and tried to focus, but saw nothing but an outline, brief flashes fading in and out of clarity through the murky haze surrounding her - be it the debris, the crack in her gem, or both, it didn’t matter much anymore. “This entire base is definitely a loss, as is the mining operation. They’ll remember us yet.”

“Well, I’m not done just yet,” Pearl turned to face her and finally came close enough to be seen, glitching hand desperately clinging to her remaining unbroken sword, voice kept sharper than the blade. “And neither are you.”

“Oh yeah? How do you know that?” Bismuth gave a weak grin and cupped a hand protectively over her own cracked gem, fingers clenching painfully. Even the movement of sliding down to sit against the hewn stone behind her seemed to cause parts of her to _grind_ achingly against one another.

It looked and felt like good, solid work, and it had been hard to bring down - not hers, but probably one of the bismuths she’d known before… Before. Who knew where any of them were now? Probably shipped off-planet, long gone, all construction suspended until the uprising was taken care of…

“Because,” Pearl breathed, but it was enough to bring Bismuth back to the present, aching yet real and as solid as the rock pressed against her, “I know _you_.”

“Look, Pearl, I’m flattered, but we’re both not doing too hot right now. Moss is… gone.” Bismuth swallowed painfully, trying not to think about the glint of dark green shards she’d only glimpsed. “A-and I don’t think reinforcements will know where to find us - not in time, anyway.”

Pearl harrumphed, free hand going to her forehead almost in reflex, brushing against her gem. “It’s just a little hairline crack. I’ve had far worse, and so have you, and it failed to stop us. Besides, what kind of defeatist talk is that? That’s not like you at all. And Moss… I-I didn’t get to know her very well, admittedly, but I’m certain she wouldn’t want the time she bought us to go to waste.”

Bismuth sighed. “I know! I know, okay. I’m just… tired.” She allowed her eyes to drift shut, and her head to fall back to rest against the cool stone. “It’s been a long while, you know? And we keep losing people, and Homeworld just keeps bringing more Gems in, and it all feels like it will never be over - well, except like this. And believe me, I don’t want this any more than you do, but I’m really having trouble seeing an out right now.”

“Listen to them!” Pearl hissed, making Bismuth jolt out of her increasingly gloomy reverie and back into full awareness once again. Despite her failing hold on her own physical form and the telling way the tip of her sword was drooping low enough to scrape against the ground, Pearl made an effort to encompass with one gesture the entire dusty ruin of the deliberately caved-in passage separating them from their pursuers and would-be captors - or executioners.

Bismuth frowned, and tried to pick out anything at all from among the muffled noises of Gems hard at work attempting to break through and finish off the last of the intruding rebels. Failed, with their ruckus melding painfully with the pounding in her head and the ache lodged as deep in her chest as was possible, almost rending her apart. But Pearl didn’t leave her waiting for too long. “They’re laughing at us! Well they’re _wrong_. They take one look at us and think they know everything there is to know about us, a pearl and a bismuth – how much could there possibly be _to_ know, right? But they don’t know _anything_. And we can show them!”

Bismuth squinted up at her - hardly the angle she was used to viewing Pearl from, but she had to admit it was a flattering one. Pearl was a magnificent sight to behold when angry and so passionately defiant. A sight she wouldn’t mind calling inspirational, even. She’d made enough very fine swords while drawing from that particular well, after all. “You’re really working hard on the whole rousing speech thing, huh?”

Pearl blushed, the usually vibrant blue muted under the dust of the collapsed ceiling, and seemed to consider something for a few long moments.

Then she leaned down, and kissed Bismuth soundly.

“Woah,” Bismuth managed eloquently once they’d broken apart, dazed in a much more pleasant way than she’d been.

“You’re… always the one bolstering everyone else. I thought-” Pearl stammered to a pause, fingers splayed over her own lips. “Someone should be around to help when _you_ need it. It’s only fair.”

“It’s only fair,” Bismuth agreed, focusing on the clarity and sharpness and focus Pearl’s form held, so close to her now.

“Yes. Well. And there’s more where that came from,” Pearl muttered, one hand alighting gently on Bismuth’s shoulder, the other still defiantly struggling to hold up her sword.

This time, Bismuth felt a smile pull at her, and let it crack through the tired layer of dust and grime. “Is that right?”

“Yes,” Pearl’s tone brooked no argument whatsoever. “And you’re going to get up, and we’re both walking right out of here. And once we’re back at the base-”

Another kiss, this one leaving them both grinning, pain and discomfort and encroaching, grasping hopelessness abandoned by the wayside in favour of a heady spark of determination.

“Well,” Bismuth had to quip, “that’s one way of offering encouragement.”

It wasn’t so hard, then, to get to her feet, and to stumble on out, together, leaning on each other.

 

**II. Forge**

 

 

The first thing Pearl felt when she reformed were two bulky arms wrapped around her tightly. This wasn’t exactly unprecedented, as she’d been the willing victim of a celebratory toss or two courtesy of the same set of wonderfully strong arms on several previous occasions. It was also far from what she’d term unpleasant, even if the hold was getting rather vise-like.

“You can let go now,” Pearl managed to squeak out, barely. “I can stand on my own, I promise.”

“Well, maybe I don’t want to,” Pearl felt Bismuth mumble where her face was buried into her neck, the slightest tickle of warm breath against her shoulder, and the arms around her squeezed a bit tighter. “Maybe I’m worried that the moment those quick little feet touch the ground, you’ll be off throwing yourself at a five-quartz fusion again. What were you _thinking_?”

The citrines had been cutting a swath through the Crystal Gem vanguard, and quickly making for the hilltop overlook - for Rose, who had been preoccupied with the right flank. The decision had been quite easy and clear in Pearl’s mind at the time. To muddle matters further, Bismuth often showed open appreciation for what she called Pearl’s “stunts”, so seeing her this upset was a bit odd - and really, there was hardly much reason for her to worry. Rose’s tears meant physical recovery, even after a thoroughly cracked gem, never took too long. The rest of it was, perhaps, a different matter, but Pearl, drained by the hasty regeneration and still getting her bearings, didn’t particularly feel like arguing. She breathed a relieved little sigh when Bismuth set her down and let go of her, seemingly giving up on demanding answers and justifications.

Pearl looked around properly for the first time since she’d reformed, taking in the tent they were in, peeking out at what little she could see of the camp through the opened flap - not much, as it was dark outside. “Is… is the battle still going on?”

“A bit of a lull at the moment, but yeah. We’re expecting them to hit us with fresh reinforcements soon. You’re just in time,” Bismuth sighed, then turned to grab something from behind her and present it to Pearl.

“Here, guess you’ll be needing this.” She held out a sword. Pearl’s sword - not in a state to qualify as _good as new_ , perhaps, but a far cry from how Pearl had last seen it, snapped under a citrine’s boot - a boot which had then proceeded to come down, mercilessly, on the dazed, sprawled form of Pearl herself.

“Oh!” She rushed to take it, feel the familiar grip under her palm. It was one of her personal favourites, simple but sleek and delightfully well-balanced, and even briefly seeing it in pieces had been upsetting, to say the least. “You fixed it!”

There was an odd air that Pearl couldn’t quite parse around the look on Bismuth’s face again. “I patched it up as well as I could out here. Should do for another few battles, as long as you’re a bit careful and don’t go after any more armoured citrine fusions with it. After that, though, you’re gonna need a new one.”

Pearl gripped the sword to her chest with both hands, fidgeting in place. “Thank you. I should- I should go and catch up with Rose. See what the plans are, how everything is going…”

“And offer some of your suggestions and corrections, no doubt,” Bismuth chuckled, placing a hand on Pearl’s back. “There’s just no slowing you down, is there?”

“Never,” Pearl agreed, even as her legs still felt slightly wobbly and all the cocky, daring challenge wasn’t back in the tilt of her chin just yet.

The smile Bismuth gave her had an element to it that could almost be called resigned as they stepped outside together. The nearly full moon provided enough light for all to see the banner of the Crystal Gems flying above the encampment, fluttering in the light night breeze, showing a bit of wear but still unquestionably proud and defiant.

Sometimes, Pearl fancied she could feel a matching fluttering in her own chest at the sight. It was an odd conceit, perhaps, and rather human, but there was something profound about seeing the standard made _real_ like that, crafted out of surprisingly sturdy Earth materials and so utterly and undeniably tangible, when it had started off as little more than a dream turned into a light blue flicker projected into the darkness of a moon base.

_“The rebel flag is pink, of course - a light rose quartz pink with darker accents. The vines set in a cross- no, no, quartering diagonally might work better- yes, behind the petals, just like that. I’m not entirely sure I like the thorn distribution just yet. Symmetrical would look much better, wouldn’t you say, My Di-”_

And there was Rose Quartz, of course, right underneath her banner, just as sturdy and Earth-made and battle-worn.

“Hey, Pearl,” Bismuth’s voice, warm and reverberating and grounding all at once, startled Pearl out of her reverie and stopped her in her tracks after a few steps she wasn’t entirely aware of having made. She seemed far more solemn all of a sudden, even as her smile was still there. “Stick around, okay?”

Pearl chuckled nervously. “What do you mean? I have no plans of going anywhere anytime soon, _stars_ know-”

“No, I mean,” Bismuth allowed a bit of frustration to seep into her voice, and placed both her hands on Pearl’s shoulders, enveloping them completely. “I don’t want to have to fix that sword again in the next few days, you hear?”

She clearly caught Pearl’s quick little glance to the flag and its general, both overlooking the battlefield-to-be.

“Look at her over there: big, strong quartz, with a big, fancy shield and, not to sing my own praises, but a _damn_ fancy sword - she’ll be fine. And I know you, and I know you’re a little daredevil at heart, and we all love seeing you pull off those amazing moves you have.” Pearl smiled at this, and Bismuth smiled back, just a bit more outwardly light-hearted. “But believe me, she needs you by her side more than she needs you in front of her, taking hits for her.”

She coaxed Pearl to look up at her. “And hey, I need you around too.”

Pearl squirmed, and choked out the beginnings of a nervous protest. “Bismuth, I… Why this concern all of a sudden?”

“Trust me, the concern is the furthest thing from sudden. I hate seeing you get hurt like that.”

She turned away for a moment, that bit of frustration showing once again as she ran a hand through her hair. Pearl’s eyes followed the always distracting colours, bright and buoying even at night, even in the murkiest fog of the most terrifying, overwhelming battlefield.

“Need some enticement? How about this - come find me after the battle. No rushed regenerations, no Rose crying over you, no being carried by Garnet. Just you on your own two feet. And I’ll make you the fanciest sword you’ve ever seen.” Bismuth held out a hand. “Deal?”

Pearl took it, passingly fascinated by the way her hand completely disappeared in Bismuth’s own, and nodded. “Deal.”

Then Bismuth pulled her in and hugged her tight, and Pearl could think of no better way to seal the arrangement then to rise to tiptoe and give Bismuth a quick kiss, ducking back into the embrace before she could even hope to respond.

“You and your pep talks,” she murmured. “You’ve become far too good at those, you know.”

“What can I say? Gotta grow that skillset, right? We won’t always be at war, and not everyone is a collector like you, so I figure the demand for swords and such is going to be pretty low. And a Gem has to,” Bismuth grinned, and Pearl groaned, burying her face in her broad chest, knowing exactly what was coming, “stay in _bismuth_ somehow, right?”

Pearl’s cheek felt warm where it was pressed against Bismuth, right next to her gem. The deceptively simple statement rang in the negligible space between them still. _We won’t always be at war._

It stretched out before them all, the battlefield, seemingly endless and glittering with shards of friends and companions they’d already lost, and those they were yet to lose, and a rough, rushing sea of those desperate to put a stop to them and their cause. But the thought that there would be an end, that there was something else on the other side of it, something bright, and better, and for all of them to share - that, Pearl had to admit, felt like something one could fight for. Something to stay alive for.

The perimeter warnings rang out, and all around them the temporary encampment burst into rushed activity.

“See you on the other side, eh?” The hope in Bismuth’s voice was almost tangible.

Pearl nodded, determined as ever but promising nothing, then dashed off into the night.

 

**III. Temper**

 

 

On long nights like these, Pearl was the only Gem with her in the Forge. Mostly perched on a variety of surfaces she knew Bismuth wouldn’t need too soon, keeping her company and keeping herself out of the way. It was something she was disconcertingly good at, and Bismuth hated to think where and how she’d had to hone that particular skill.

But Pearl had proven herself to be the ideal companion during all the long, repetitive, slow, and sometimes frustrating processes that went into Bismuth’s craft. She seemed to understand better than near anyone Bismuth had come to know the devotion to perfecting an art, and the satisfaction of a job well done.

Bismuth, in turn, had spent long days and nights watching Pearl train, run sword drills, strive - and struggle - to perfect a single move over and over and over again. She felt immensely honoured to have been trusted with this, with the bitter bite of frustration at hitting a wall, at having to work against everything you had been made for, in order to be able to do what you wanted to and what you felt was right. They’d both had to learn so much - all of them had. And she’d wanted to curse and rail against her own limitations and mourn the knowledge and skills she’d been denied, just as much as she suspected Pearl did with her own imposed fragility and conditioned subservience.

But there was the other side of it, too: the dedication paying off and then some, the thrill of finally overcoming, the joy of progress that was hard to match. That _click_ of things falling into place after refusing to for so long, and seeing, at long last, the wonderful end product.

(And then, sometimes much later, sometimes after mere hours, seeing how it truly fared on the battlefield.)

This particular project hadn’t been one of the more arduous ones she’d undertaken, but it did come with a certain weight and meaning attached. And a good, sharp edge on a sword was important, but hardening it too much into brittleness would be disastrous, both as a risk in battle, and as a painful and somewhat ironic reminder of the fate of Pearl’s last sword. She wanted nothing but the very best for Pearl - as was absolutely deserved.

And besides, she’d promised.

“One last quick dip, aaaaaand… done. Here you go,” Bismuth flipped the sword over in her hands after one final inspection, and offered it hilt-first through the rapidly dispersing steam. “Freshly cooled and ready.”

Pearl grasped it expertly (and, to Bismuth’s not-so-secret delight, eagerly), hopping down from her anvil perch. She gave it a few quick trial swings before settling the blade to see-saw on one outstretched finger. “ _Lovely_ balance. Exquisite as always, Bismuth.”

Bismuth felt warm, a warmth that had nothing to do with the surrounding lava, but a lot to do with the way Pearl’s eyes gleamed in the red-orange light, awe-widened and appreciative and appraising and critical and knowledgeable all at once.

“What are you doing?” She asked, reverie interrupted as Pearl held the sword back out to her, both arms outstretched, expectant.

Pearl seemed genuinely confused. “I’m… giving it back…?”

“What would you do that for?” To underline her point, Bismuth wrapped Pearl’s hands around the sword more firmly, and pushed it gently back towards her. “It’s yours!”

Pearl’s eyes grew larger still, reflecting the forgelight in a noticeably more watery fashion. “For me?”

“I made it just for you! I promised, didn’t I? I’m a Gem of my word.”

It took a moment for Pearl to look back up from the sword now held tight against her chest. “It’s beautiful, Bismuth, thank you so much, I-”

“Hey, hey come here,” Bismuth would never get tired of the way her hands engulfed Pearl’s narrow shoulders. Such a tiny thing, seeming so deceptively fragile, always ready to spring into action and all but thrumming with nervous and defiant energy. She’d called her Rose’s once, and never again. _Not anyone’s_ , Pearl had said with more steel than it had taken to make both of her first swords, _not anyone’s_ , Bismuth had agreed, and that was that.

It was beautiful and Bismuth loved everything about it.

_Do you, now? What else do you love?_

Bismuth cleared her suddenly oddly gummy throat, and quashed that distracting little voice. “Really nice job out there yesterday. They had no idea what hit ‘em.”

Pearl hummed an absent-minded agreement, still busy tracing careful fingers over the intricate, winding design of the quillons.

Bismuth scoffed, and tried for a different approach. “So it looks pretty, I agree - which is nice enough, I guess. But I was wondering more along the lines of… is it any good in a fight? I was trying out a few new things, went about making the crossguard a bit differently, shifted the balance just a tad, as you’ve noticed…” Pearl was nodding along, the living embodiment of _interested_ , inspecting every inch of the sword as if she was seeing it for the first time. “So what do you say? Wanna give it a test run?”

Pearl’s delight was palpable, and her grin was absolutely infectious. “Oh, _do I_.”

So Bismuth grinned right back. It didn’t take a lot to have the anvil move just a bit to the right and out of their way. “Come on then, show me what you got - I’m not going easy on you today.”

The new sword flashed with all the reds and oranges of the forge as it arced through the hot air. “You wouldn’t dare to.”

And Bismuth absolutely wasn’t planning to, firmly planting her feet and shifting one hand into an axe. She swatted away the first few testing and probing strikes Pearl aimed at her, and refused to fall for any of her provocations and blatantly deliberate openings, no matter how fancy her footwork or how elaborate her cuts.

“Come on, Pearl, we don’t need warmups. I know you can do better than that!”

Oh, but that quick, sneaky, _tricky_ little Pearl-

A mere second of distraction as Pearl seemed to so utterly convincingly dash to her left was somehow more than enough. Bismuth was off her feet and sprawled on the floor, left with nothing to do but stare down - up? - the blade she had so recently been working on, all the way up to Pearl’s eyes, playfully crinkled in a delightfully familiar smirk.

The next moment, the sword was gone, replaced with Pearl leaning down and pressing a surprisingly soft kiss to Bismuth’s lips.

“It’s wonderful,” she murmured. “Thank you.”

The warmth was definitely well past the point of a gentle forge-glow now. “Wonderful yourself. Fancy new moves, huh? Haven’t seen that one before.”

“Oh, hush, your charm won’t work on me.” The way Pearl adjusted to lie against Bismuth’s shoulder and trace a finger around her collarbone seemed to suggest otherwise, however, and Bismuth chuckled.

“But swords will?”

“What can I say? You know me too well.”

 

**IV. Sharpen**

 

 

It had been such a close call.

Sometimes it felt to Pearl like she was just waiting for the drop, for that one awful moment that would bring the entire thing down and send it tumbling into nothing. One misstep on her part, or on Rose’s - or on Pink’s - just one, just a tad too badly timed to recover from, and it could all be over so easily. And this whole incident with White Diamond - _White Diamond!_ \- sending over Gems from her court had come far, far too close.

The Crystal Gems had built up such an incredible, sprawling dream of a thing - but Bismuth would certainly have something to say about building on, well, not even shaky, but entirely non-existent foundations. If they could ever talk about it, that was. Maybe, once it was all over - over with them having _won_ , of course - they could all sit down, perhaps in the comfortable warmth of the Forge when Bismuth wasn’t working, and Pearl could-

“Pearl!”

Speaking of.

“Hello, Bism- _oof_!”

The ground was gone from under her feet, and the sight of their current base camp was rotating around her fairly rapidly. But Pearl found herself in a familiar and reliable pair of arms, and relaxed, resigned to waiting until Bismuth was done celebrating.

“Pearl, you were _amazing_ ,” she enthused, somewhere in the vicinity of Pearl’s stomach after the latest joyful bounce. “That was the most spectacular thing I’ve ever seen.”

The arena duel and ensuing scuffle had been an absolutely harrowing experience for a multitude of reasons, but Bismuth didn’t need to know that - at least, not right now. Maybe one day in that promised bright future Pearl would be able to tell her all about how there had been moments during the fight when she’d been so _sure_ the White Court Gems knew exactly who she was and what was going on, and were only toying with her before destroying both her and everything she’d ever fought for.

But they couldn’t have known, could they? It had to have been her nervous imagination in the face of an incredibly dangerous challenge, and juggling demands for Pink Diamond to make incredibly inconvenient appearances. After all, they hadn’t said anything outside of the by now expected jibes related to Pearl being, well, a pearl. And those she’d had more than enough practice with.

“You sure showed them!”

“Yes,” Pearl agreed weakly, but Bismuth’s joy was so contagious she couldn’t stay glum and worried and contemplative for too long. “Yes, I suppose I did.”

“ _Suppose_? You beat White Diamond’s fearsome Milky Quartz champion! Single-handedly!”

And it was true, it really was. There had been no careful ruse or advantage gleaned from access to both sides of the conflict, or plain lies. Just her and her opponent, and all of her hard-won skill.

“I did, didn’t I?” Pearl acknowledged, the last of her hesitation melting away slowly but surely.

“I’m so proud of you. And hey, you did it using swords that I made, in an arena I built. I’ve gotta take at least some credit, right?”

Pearl laughed right along, and threw her arms around whatever part of Bismuth she could reach. After a few more exclamations of joy and twirls so exuberant Pearl felt for a moment they might end up fusing, Bismuth put her back down, but didn’t let go of her fully. Instead, she bent down as if in a courtly bow - she, who’d never gotten near even a whiff of any court - and gently took hold of one of Pearl’s hands.

“I have yet to meet someone I’m more honoured to equip. I do so love these hands, so strong - the way they wield a good sword, like none other!” She took the time to place a kiss on each tiny, pale fingertip, and Pearl felt her entire face burn. “My favourite patron, if I was one to play favourites.”

Pearl giggled, then took a knee and with a deliberately over-the-top flourish drew Bismuth’s hand into her own, and planted a kiss on its back.

“And I like these,” Pearl supplied, turning over the much larger hand between her palms. “So gentle and careful and skilled. I’m honoured I get to watch them craft the finest and most detailed of etching on the most elegant of blades.”

A truly flustered Bismuth was a beautiful rarity, and Pearl carefully committed to memory every second. “Sweet-talker,” Bismuth mumbled, with noticeably dusky cheeks.

Pearl smirked. “Maybe you shouldn’t test me.”

“Well, you know I like this too, this clever, clever head,” Bismuth shot back and playfully poked at Pearl’s forehead, just underneath her gem. “Even if you do get stuck in there a bit. You always come back to us.”

It seemed to be Pearl’s turn to be flustered once again. “Need- ahem. I do need a bit of a hand with that sometimes.”

“And there’s nothing wrong with that!” Bismuth proclaimed, pulling Pearl back up to her feet and slinging a casual arm over her shoulders. “Oh, speaking of heads. You know, I’ve been wondering, thinking about some stuff…”

Pearl grinned up at her, comfortably ensconced between arm and chest and momentarily utterly without complaints. “Mm, dangerous.”

“I know, right?” Bismuth gleefully grinned back. “So, what I wanted to know is… How’d you feel about armour? Think about it - something light but durable. Elegant while sturdy and protective. Flexible in all the right places.”

Pearl raised a thoughtful hand to her mouth. It was a tempting thought, but… “Oh, I don’t know. I rely on speed and mobility so much, it might be counterproductive…”

“Let me try? I think I have some really good ideas about how to make it work with your strengths. I’ve been itching for a project like that, a good challenge. You don’t need to do much, I’ll only need you for a few fittings. Besides… we’re fairly well-prepared at the moment, so nothing better to do during a lull in the fighting, right?”

A thousand replies crowded Pearl’s thoughts immediately upon hearing that, endless courtly and colony-to-be related duties required for keeping up appearances. At least the war being in full swing and the rebellion being at its apparent peak meant the lack of Pink Diamond’s signature balls and parties wasn’t as suspicious as it could have been.

But Bismuth was so earnestly excited and curious in that way Pearl knew and loved so well. And the images suddenly flooding her mind were extremely tempting, visions of herself gleaming and imposing on the battlefield - iridescent, perhaps - facing down Gems who thought less of her than the grit under their feet with a bit more of a fair chance, leading a valiant charge, banner in hand, Garnet and Bismuth by her side, rushing to Rose’s rescue-

“I’ve, uh, actually been working on some things already,” came Bismuth’s voice again, slightly bashful at her own eagerness. “Some early prototypes for articulated joints, nothing much. Was hoping you’d be down to try them out.”

Pearl beamed. “I’d be honoured.”

-

Homeworld, however, decided not to be so lenient as to allow them much downtime for experimentation and creativity. Worst of all, the current batch of attacks were mostly Yellow Diamond’s doing, meaning there was very little deliberate stalling or misdirection available to easily increase the Crystal Gems’ chances.

Pearl had managed to make it to only a few initial armour fittings, all during lovely and impressively productive but sadly rare hours in the Forge, and growing rarer still. Today was particularly subdued, and Pearl found herself listlessly sitting on the anvil as Bismuth rummaged around her workshop.

She seemed distracted so much of the time recently. But then, so was Pearl. Losses were mounting, Yellow and Blue Diamond were demanding another formal meeting with Pink, and excuses both she and Rose kept coming up with were wearing thin…

“I know we don’t have long today, but I thought you might want to see how I’ve started on the pauldrons.”

Pearl hummed in vague agreement, preoccupied with the looming upcoming battle and the ambush they were setting up. The ziggurat was a key strategic point on the main front of their current highly vexing conflict with Yellow Diamond’s forces. If they triumphed decisively enough, it just might prove sufficient to make her take at least a temporary step back, reconsider her insistence on interfering, and leave Pink Diamond to her own devices and colony-related fumbling. For educational purposes, if nothing else.

At least for a little while.

As she felt more than saw Bismuth fiddling around with bits of metal plate and straps around her left shoulder, Pearl sighed, and tried her best to focus on the here and now. One of her eternal weaknesses. “How have you been, Bismuth? I feel like I’ve seen less of you than usual lately.”

“Miss seeing me around, huh?” Bismuth grinned teasingly, though even that felt like a shadow of its former self.

Pearl’s expression and voice both softened. “You know I always do.”

“Aw, Pearl. I’ve just been busy around the Forge. And you know me, I’m perfectly fine - love tearing down Homeworld values. It’s an invigorating start to every morning. And sometimes they go down faster than toppling worn pillars in an outdated arena scheduled for demolition.”

Pearl cracked a small smile at that, but didn’t seem too convinced. “Well, if you’re sure.”

“You know I always am when it comes to that. Hm,” Bismuth jostled the pauldron-to-be hanging precariously off Pearl’s shoulder. “Yeah, this won’t work, I’ll need to space the buckles differently.”

As Bismuth moved away, Pearl caught a glimpse of the darkening sky outside and jerked upright, fully alert. “Oh, it’s so late! I need to go help with the final plans and preparation.”

Taking the ziggurat just might prove key to holding the entire hotly contested area, so Pearl wasn’t about to take any chances. And maybe… maybe that nice time After would creep just a bit closer after this victory.

Bismuth seemed deep in thought, and didn’t react or reply until Pearl hopped down from the anvil and stood right in front of her.

“Sorry,” she chuckled, jolting out of her own reverie. “Just… have a lot on my mind right now. And with the big battle any moment now and everything… it gets…”

Bismuth trailed off again, staring at the slowly bubbling lava. Pearl put a hand on her shoulder, rubbing what she thought might be soothing circles into it, trying very hard to think only of the upcoming battle and not of the last few calls they’d received on the diamond communicator, or of how Blue Diamond’s proclaimed _disappointment_ might mean she was planning to make another personal visit.

“It gets to be a bit too much, doesn’t it just?” Pearl murmured.

As her hand traced down Bismuth’s back and felt her nod, Pearl marvelled, too, at the always eye-catching contrast between their builds. How different she and Bismuth were at first glance, but how similar they could be, and how well they fit together. How well they understood one another.

“So what’s troubling _you_?” Bismuth broke the brief silence. “Pre-battle jitters got you?”

…When circumstances allowed.

“Yes, that’s probably it.”

“Knowing you, you’ll be right as rain as soon as the fighting actually starts.” Bismuth was only partially teasing - Pearl knew her to be absolutely right. There was nothing quite like the very immediate danger of a battle to help one focus on the present, after all. “Hey, could you do me a favour? When you see her, let Rose know I need to talk to her as soon as she has time.”

“Of course.”

“Thanks,” Bismuth smiled, small and simple, but it did seem to reach her eyes. “And I’ll see you at the battlefield, I guess, if you come check in with the left flank.”

Something made Pearl stop before leaving with just a casual wave of her hand, drove her to turn her back to the steep exit out the slope of the volcano and dash back to Bismuth’s side.

“Here,” she leaned over and gave her a soft, restrained, but still heartfelt kiss, and wished she could give so much more. “For luck, as the humans say, just in case I don’t see you until after the fight.”

Bismuth happily pulled her back in before she could rush off again and held her close, as wonderfully warm and sturdy as ever. Pearl allowed herself several moments of surprisingly calm contentment. Bismuth’s hand cupped the back of her head gently but reassuringly, her large palm ruffling Pearl’s hair. “I’m hoping that maybe we won’t need luck anymore, soon.”

Pearl hummed in agreement. “I’d like that. Relying on ourselves, our own skills and wits and capabilities, not odd extraneous factors beyond anyone’s control.”

“That’s right,” Bismuth continued softly, still toying with the ends of Pearl’s hair. “And all of us, who we are, what we can do… we sure are impressive enough. They’ll see.”

Pearl tilted her head up to receive another kiss, and it felt so easy to forget, and believe. **  
**

 

**V. Polish**

 

 

To say the familiar form cresting the hill by the Temple was a welcome surprise would be the understatement of the past several millennia.

“Bismuth?” Pearl managed to breathe out somehow, already up on her feet and scrambling to cover the distance between them, not even pausing to shake off the sand she’d been sitting in. “How-? But everyone was- you were- _where_ -?”

“I’ll explain everything, just- woah!” Bismuth’s attempt at a placating gesture was interrupted when Pearl collided with her full force, almost sending them both sprawling into the grass, or tumbling down the slope and into the sea.

There would be time for explanations later. For now, Pearl had to soak in the familiar feeling of her, gripping her apron, a hand, an arm, any part of her she could reach. When the fluttering in her chest got too much, she buried her head in Bismuth’s shoulder and promptly burst into tears.

“Aw, Pearl, come on, you know you’ll have me- aw, look, there I go,” Bismuth sniffled loudly in return, patting her trembling back clumsily.

“I’m sorry, I can’t help it… I can’t believe you’re _here_! I thought I’d never see you again. You missed so much…” Pearl’s grip around her arm tightened until she seemed to be determined to wrap her entire self around the limb.

“Hey,” Bismuth chuckled through the tears, “at least I’m lucky you like us big, sentimental types.”

“I think I’m the lucky one here,” Pearl shot back, a pale shade of their usual banter to her words. She squinted up through her tears, trying to take in everything about the Gem before her, feeling a growing determination to never let her out of her sight again.

Another thing suddenly felt incredibly important to let Bismuth know, even if words weren’t exactly cooperating with Pearl at the moment. “I’ve… I’ve taken good care of them. You’ll see. They’re in my room, the sabers, the matching rapiers, the kaskara, all of them… as sharp as the day you made them. Absolutely flawless, I made _sure_.”

“I knew you would, I knew they were in the best of hands,” came the reply, a soft rumble from just above, and Pearl felt her hand encased in a much larger one. “You know I trust you with way more than just swords, Pearl.”

_You shouldn’t, you shouldn’t, oh, if you only knew…_

Bismuth then cupped her face with her free hand, work-roughened as always, but, as always, so very gentle with everything that demanded it, be it delicate filigree work or wiping away tears. Just like Pearl remembered.

“Any of the others around? I should say hi.” That ever-charming grin was bright on Bismuth’s face. “Garnet and I should really go for a dip a bit later. Bet she’s missed having company, with only you cute little melty types around.”

“Uh, excuse me,” Pearl managed to sound indignant just fine, stray remnants of tears notwithstanding. “I am certainly not ‘ _melty_ ’.”

Bismuth playfully poked her nose, then hugged her to her chest, where Pearl nestled in happily. And it didn’t seem to matter at all how she’d managed to suddenly and miraculously return after five thousand years, or where she’d been, or how she knew who was around to welcome her back.

“Dunno. Seemed pretty melty to me just now.”

To her endless consternation, Pearl started crying once again.

“Oh, Pearl, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have-”

“No, no, it’s not that! It’s…” Pearl wiped at her eyes, to very little effect. “You’re _back_. I thought I’d lost you a-and… we’ve just… lost so much. So much. It’s not fair.”

“Hey, now, none of that,” Bismuth carefully pulled Pearl’s hands away from her face and held them between hers lightly, the very embodiment of tenderness. “I’m right here, and I’m not leaving you again. Not if I can help it.”

Then she leaned down just a bit, just enough to seal the promise with a kiss.

Pearl jolted out of the reverie just as their lips met, and found herself just as alone, sand-dusted, and forgotten as when she’d first sunk into it. The stone of the Temple’s hand was cold and rough and unwelcoming against her back, and traces of sea spray made the diaphanous shawl hang forlornly around her shoulders. Nothing at all like… like…

It wasn’t the first fantastical daydream she’d conjured up tonight, and it probably wouldn’t be the last. She knew how she could get, when left to her own devices like this, and it had only gotten worse since Rose had announced her grand plan to… disappear. This particular instance just seemed to have more of a sting than Pearl had been prepared for.

_Could you imagine?_

Oh, she could. Could she ever! She had grown to be so very, very good at it. Hardly a surprise, though, when it so often seemed like she had so precious little left that was real, and so much she’d lost that she could never, ever get back - except like this, pale imitation or no.

What an unbearable feeling, to feel like she had lost everything, and yet was still somehow about to lose even more.

Pearl lowered her head back into her arms and burst into bitter tears.

 

**VI. Wield  
**

 

 

The night was a clear one, a gentle sea breeze driving away the last straggling wisps of cloud and putting the stars on full, glorious display. Bismuth let herself enjoy both the view and the sensation of the wind toying with her hair and the ends of her apron. It carried new, unfamiliar scents and sounds to her, reminding her of just how much she had to catch up on.

It both was and wasn’t the same sky she’d sat under and gazed up at before, the same stars she’d been ferried among from assignment to assignment. Being stuffed down in the holds of the cargo ships with the other bismuths hadn’t exactly given her the best view, but she’d managed to sneak a few quick observation deck visits here and there. Some of her earliest little rebellions: insisting she’d been sent to fix non-existent structural damage and stealing glimpses of asteroid fields and star systems and nebulae meant for more important and more valuable Gems than her.

And the sights had been impressive, certainly, but there was something to be said for the feeling of being grounded and solid and anchored that only the Earth had so far provided her. It felt natural, to dig deep into it, to stay close to its molten heart. It felt comfortable and familiar, even when she’d been a newcomer to the planet. It felt like the closest thing to home she could imagine for herself.

She buried her fingers in the sand for that extra little bit of grounding – it wasn’t much, but it would do for now.

The door of the beach house squeaked open, and she could hear the porch and stairs creak in response ( _wood_!), followed by the soft padding of steps behind her. And there- there was the other part of _home_ , far more important than merely the place. A home was no good empty, after all.

Bismuth turned as if to see who it was, even though she had more than a fairly good idea - she knew those quiet, ever-careful steps well. But Pearl was far too easily given to fretting and might have turned back and retreated amidst a chorus of second thoughts if she thought she’d gone unnoticed. Their eyes met, and Bismuth’s deliberate acknowledgement of her presence seemed to have done its job. Pearl very slowly walked over and sat down.

The silence was… strange. Nothing like the comfortable, companionable ones they’d gotten used to sharing during long working nights at the Forge. Small wonder - it was the first time they found themselves alone together after everything that had happened and everything that had finally come to light, and even the air felt heavy.

So they sat, a conspicuous and wrong-feeling distance between them. At least the ocean provided a nice backdrop, and Bismuth had to admit the regular rhythm of the waves lapping at the shore just loud enough to be heard was soothing.

“It’s been such a long time,” Pearl sighed at long last, after drawing her fifth perfect circle in the sand.

“Not for me.” It was more sad than anything, decidedly melancholy, but judging by the way Pearl winced some bitterness had still seeped through.

“I know. I didn’t mean… I just- I’m really glad you’re back! I’m so glad you and Steven worked things out and we can…” Pearl trailed off feebly, leaving just what it was they could all now do up in the air.

“It’s ok, Pearl, listen- I shouldn’t have fought the poor kid. I mean, didn’t exactly mean to, I thought…” Bismuth stumbled. “I didn’t believe him, and… well. I’m just glad I didn’t hurt him. He certainly doesn’t need more on his plate, or me adding to the… mess.”

Pearl made a little noise of frustration, and obliterated all her carefully drawn circles with one sweep of her hand. “It’s all so… complicated!”

“Not everything, maybe.” Bismuth tried for a grin, and a change of pace. “I heard about you and Peridot. Still striking fear into the hearts of new recruits who think they don’t need to respect you, huh? Just like old times.”

Pearl’s smile was grateful, so Bismuth pressed on. “And your most recent apprentice may be human, but she’s as impressive and dedicated as any Gem I’ve seen you train. The way she handles that sword is incredible.”

She was rewarded with a hum of acknowledgement this time, with Pearl preening just a little bit, and Bismuth tried, a bit too late, not to start thinking too deeply about the sword in question. About how apparently she and Rose had both felt the bite of the same blade, of the weapon she’d proudly called her finest work, yet to be topped (but she vowed, in the same breath, to try her utmost to grow beyond and surpass her own pink-hued best under Rose Quartz - and she would now have the time and chance to do so, hopefully).

And there it was, a subject she didn’t particularly want to broach, but that she knew would hang over them forever unless they dealt with it. Like a particularly stubborn pink cloud that insisted on throwing a pall over everything.

“You know,” Bismuth started off slow, tentative, and ginger in a way she wasn’t used to when approaching much of anything, “I’ve always admired Sapphire, the way she gave it all up, for Ruby, for Garnet, and then for all of us.”

Pearl _had_ to have known what she was going for, but she didn’t say a word.

“And…” _Well, here goes nothing._ “What Rose did, it could have been just like that, right? She could have-”

Bismuth stopped herself, sighed, and dragged a weary hand over her face. “She could have done a lot of things. But she didn’t. And _could have_ is the most useless couple of words in the galaxy, isn’t it?”

Pearl nodded, and looked up at her, surprisingly calm, and seemed to study her intently for a few moments. “You know, it’s a bit… ironic. You are so many things she so desperately wanted to be, and, well, never really could be. So many of the things _I_ wanted her to be. Pretended she was. Hoped she would become…”

By the end, her eyes had dropped to the sand beside her, fingers once again tracing elaborate patterns in it. It could have been decorative lacework or the lines laying out a new circuit board - it was impossible to tell sometimes, with Pearl, the unlikely but wonderful meeting of both those worlds and a constant balancing act somewhere in between. Even more so than any of them had ever suspected, apparently - Bismuth had no idea how she felt about so much of it yet.

But there was one thing standing out to her that stung in a very particular, personal way. Bismuth’s smile was a sad, wry one. “Is that why it was always so easy for me to charm you? If you couldn’t exactly have your dream soldier girl from Earth turned glorious rebel leader, you could at least have the rough-and-tumble bismuth radical?”

Pearl’s face was aflame within seconds, and she sputtered. “I- no! It’s not like that! At all! I like _you_ , I like who you are, and… and you’ve always been a charmer, and a terrible, terrible flirt.”

“Yeah, well, I don’t much like being the next best thing, or a consolation prize.”

“I don’t want you to be!” Pearl’s voice had risen in pitch a bit concerningly. “I just want _you_.”

Bismuth didn’t even have time to reel at the remarkably forward admission she wasn’t sure Pearl was fully aware of blurting out, or to ponder all the implications, because Pearl was forging ahead breathlessly.

“Just you. And _you_ , you feel it all, and you _let_ yourself feel it all, so very effortlessly. I know that was always a struggle for her. And the speeches, the encouragement, the banter. You just… do it, and get it, and there’s no other layer there, no possible ulterior motive, nothing separating you from everyone else. She never could manage that, no matter how much she wanted to.”

Bismuth harrumphed. “She could have lied a bit less, for starters. One burdensome layer gone, _bam_ , just like that. And then we could all level the playing field on our terms, together.”

“It’s… not that simple.” Pearl was staring off into some vague mid-distance, with a look in her eyes that could only be described as _lost_. Bismuth decided very quickly that she hated it.

“Maybe not. But it could have been a lot simpler than it ended up being.”

Pearl sighed. “As a wise Gem recently told me, _could haves_ won’t accomplish much.”

“Wise, am I now?” Despite the weak smile she tried to sustain, the mood was tangibly subdued. “I guess… I guess I didn’t know you too well after all, did I? All those hours together in the Forge, all those times you were upset about things it turns out I couldn’t have begun to understand, but thought I was getting absolutely right… I thought I was _helping_.”

“You were!” Pearl was so quick in her attempts to refute all doubts, she almost jumped up from her seat in the sand. “Oh, Bismuth, so much, you have no idea. I don’t know what I would have done without you so many of the times, I really don’t.”

“Well, you seem to have made it just fine after I… after I was gone. And don’t get me wrong, I’m glad you did. I’d never want you of all Gems to be…” She trailed off.

Pearl barked out an uncomfortably sharp, high bit of utterly unamused laughter. “Bismuth, quite honestly, I have been an absolute _mess_. There’s a part of me that’s almost glad you weren’t around to see.”

Bismuth’s brow furrowed deeply. “Hey, listen. It’s not your fault. You didn’t do any of those horrible things. It was…” Her? Them? Who were _they_ , the Diamonds, the elites, Homeworld as a whole? Assigning blame had sure gone up in difficulty too.

“Maybe,” Pearl replied, obviously not believing that at all. “I’ve certainly done my fair share of awful blundering. Stars, just ask poor Garnet, she has _not_ had an easy time thanks to me. And I could have handled so many things so much more gracefully, I-”

“ _Could haves_ ,” Bismuth murmured again.

Pearl sighed, and her voice was small when she continued, slowly, as if she was picking out word by word. “It’s still so hard to believe that anything I do actually matters. That what I say means something to someone, that someone is actually listening and being affected - by _me_ of all Gems. That my actions have weight, that they… really can make a difference. And that this can be both good and bad.”

She burst out in an unhappy laugh again, and Bismuth knew better than to interrupt, even as she hated seeing Pearl like this. “Oh, listen to me! All those centuries trying to assert myself, all that posturing and the sparring and showing off and arguing with Gems who thought themselves above me just to prove a point… and I never really proved the point to _myself_.”

Pearl rubbed a hand over her face. “Ahah, there I go, and you’ve only been back, what, a day? Clearly I’ve missed late night Forge confessions more than I thought.”

Bismuth gave her best sympathetic and not at all casual shrug. “Well, I bet being forced to keep those heavy, heavy secrets sure didn’t help.”

“I wasn’t even forced, at first. Sometimes I wish I’d taken the chance to tell someone, anyone. And afterwards, I should have tried harder. _Should haves_ , yes, yes I know- but I’m so relieved! I’ve never felt lighter in my life, gravity constants be damned! But… but there’s a part of me that hates it, too, that’s so scared. Because… oh, you’ll all look at me differently now,” Pearl shook her head. “Hah, as if it matters. Stars, I’m such a coward.”

 _I don’t think **you’re** the coward, _Bismuth wanted to say, but stopped. It felt a bit too much like picking a pointless fight just now. “She really did us dirty, huh.”

“You kept her secrets, too,” Pearl pointed out, sounding, to Bismuth’s ears, mildly accusing. “You never told us why you were in that bubble, or what you’d tried to do, or that you’d _fought_ like that! That she- that she lied to us. That she lied to me.”

Pearl’s voice was so small and hurt by the end - really, all of her was - Bismuth felt herself getting choked up, while at the same time anger flared up in her chest. But there was a particular brand of overprotectiveness she knew Pearl despised, anything that made her feel like she was being treated as fragile, and so she squashed it all down the best she could.

“I guess I was trying to… I don’t know.” Besides, it wasn’t like she needed help making her answer a struggle. “I don’t even know what I was trying to do, or preserve. I believed in her so much, I-” Bismuth’s voice hitched, despite her best efforts. “I guess I shouldn’t have bothered, huh? But whatever she did to me, whoever she turned out to be, she still…”

“I know.”

There was a brief moment of hesitation, then Pearl reached over and laid a gentle hand over Bismuth’s. It was nothing like the exuberant tackle of their reunion, but it felt surprisingly solid in all its tenderness, and far more befitting the mood.

Pearl hummed. “I’ve been thinking, lately-”

Bismuth cocked an eyebrow. “Sounds dangerous.”

It got her the smile she’d been going for, a sincere one at the old, old exchange. Pearl affected her most scandalised tone. “I know, isn’t it just? Imagine that, a _pearl_ , getting _ideas_.”

“The way I’ve been told the story, that’s exactly what got us all into this mess. And you know what?” Bismuth turned her hand over, grasping Pearl’s. “I’m glad it did.”

Pearl blushed bright blue, but made no move to shift her hand. “M-maybe. But… _ahem_ , but back to the point. With everything that’s happened, and with all of it coming to light, I’ve _had_ to think about things. And I think in the end, yes, her encouragement was certainly important, as was being given that chance, but… you did so much of it yourself. It was _you_ who acted on that encouragement. I just think you shouldn’t sell yourself short.”

Bismuth had to let out a small chuckle at the way Pearl had quickly resorted to something very much resembling her favourite lecturing tone. “Hey, I’m not the one here who’s a pro at _that_.”

“Yes. Well. I’m…” Pearl looked down at where their hands lay entwined in the sand. “It’s a work in progress.”

More than five thousand years, and despite everything, and in the face of frankly overwhelming setbacks, Pearl adamantly refused to stop trying. There was a lot to love about that, was one of Bismuth’s firmest beliefs. “In that case, I’m honoured I get to be around to see it.”

“Yes! You’re _here_.” Pearl almost shouted, a very sudden vivacity to her, and Bismuth had to stop herself from falling over backwards in the sand. “We can… try something. Now. _Properly_. You’re back! It still feels like a real wonder, and a gift. And I can’t remember the last time I’ve been so happy!”

She took Bismuth’s hands between both of her own and held them to her chest, looking up at her with the most heartbreakingly hopeful and only slightly teary look. “We can… build?”

Bismuth smiled back. “My area of expertise, isn’t it? Might know a thing or two about going slowly, laying a good foundation, planning and looking to the future, and just what heights could be reached…”

Her reward was a near-tackle and a proper Pearl cling, with a head laid against her shoulder. “Oh, that’s new. I’ve known you to be many things, but _poet_ isn’t one I recall.”

“What can I say?” Bismuth raised a hand to ruffle the always downy hair, and marvel at the softness. “I’m in inspiring company.”

Pearl reached over and thwacked her arm lightly. “Oh, you.”

They sat together for a while longer, and Bismuth quietly enjoyed the tender, tentative touches to her shoulders, slender fingers running up almost to her neck, and the slightly ticklish feeling of Pearl toying with the apron ribbon tied at her back, as if she still needed reassurance that Bismuth was truly there.

The moon was high in the sky by the time Pearl spoke up again. “I do realise that this is only the beginning, that we have, oh, _so_ much to talk about. But we’ve made a start, haven’t we? And we have time now.”

There were cruel diamond-shaped shadows still hanging over them, looming and heavy enough that even in her brief time back Bismuth had become keenly aware of them. But, tiny in number or no, they were still here, weren’t they, fearsome rebels all? And they were anything but done. 

The look on Pearl’s face was irresistible, the silvery shine in them only highlighting her wide, hopeful, and almost pleading eyes. _We have time._

“Yeah,” Bismuth murmured back, deciding to trust it. “All the time in the world.”


End file.
